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These conversation scripts are included in the Starter and Full Launch Packs. Real word-for-word scripts, not generic advice.

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Difficult Conversations
for Childminders

Four conversations every childminder faces eventually. Word-for-word scripts written for real situations — not the version where everyone stays calm and reasonable.

These scripts won't make difficult conversations easy. They'll make them shorter, clearer, and less likely to spiral. The goal is to say what needs saying and move on — professionally.

Before you read the scripts — four things that apply to all of them

📞Don't do this over text. Text strips out tone and gives the other person time to draft a response. Phone or face-to-face. Follow up in writing after.
📋Have your contract nearby. Not to wave it at them — but so you can speak confidently. "As per our contract" only works if you've actually read it.
⏸️Say the hard thing and then stop talking. The urge to fill silence with reassurance is where scripts fall apart. Deliver the message. Pause. Let them respond.
✉️Follow up in writing the same day. Even just "As discussed today, from [date] the fee will be £X." Creates a record. Prevents misremembering.
Conversation 01
Raising Your Fees
Most childminders wait too long, phrase it as a question, and then spend 20 minutes apologising for running a business. Parents have usually already budgeted for fee increases — it's the surprise and the vagueness that causes conflict, not the increase itself. The most effective fee rises are short, confident, and early.
The script
I wanted to give you plenty of notice that from [date — at least 4 weeks ahead], my fees will be changing to [new rate] per [hour/day/week]. I review annually to account for increased costs and to make sure I can keep delivering the level of care [child's name] gets. I'll send you an updated contract amendment by the end of the week. Let me know if you have any questions.
What not to say — and why
"I'm really sorry to do this, I know it's bad timing…"
Signals that you're not sure you deserve the increase. They'll sense the uncertainty and negotiate.
"Would you be OK with a small increase?"
Never phrase it as a question. You're informing them, not asking permission.
"I just need to cover my costs…"
Makes it sound like you're barely breaking even. You're running a business, not asking for charity.
When they push back
"That's a big jump, we can't afford that."
"I understand it's a stretch. I've kept fees steady for [period] and this brings me in line with what I need to keep the setting running well. I'm not able to hold at the current rate, but I'm happy to talk through whether any other part of our arrangement could be adjusted."
"Other childminders charge less."
"I can only speak to what I charge. My fees reflect the care, the environment, and the consistency [child's name] gets here. You're welcome to explore other options — that's completely your right."
"Can we keep it the same until the end of the school year?"
"I've given four weeks' notice as per our contract, so the new rate applies from [date]. If the timing is a real difficulty, let's talk — but I can't make an open-ended exception."
Conversation 02
Persistent Late Collection
Late collection is about money and respect. Most childminders avoid charging the late fee because they don't want an awkward moment — then spend years seething quietly while their evenings get eaten up. The late fee exists because your time after contracted hours is your own. Charging it isn't being petty. Not charging it is how you end up resenting a job you chose.
The script (initial conversation)
I wanted to have a quick word about collection times. Our contract has [child's name] collected by [time], and over the last few weeks it's been closer to [later time] more often than not. I do have a late collection charge in our contract — it's there because my time after [contracted end time] is my own, and it affects my family too. Going forward I'll need to apply the late fee for collections after that time. I'd rather say it directly than just add it to an invoice.
If it continues — firmer follow-up
We spoke about this a couple of weeks ago and I want to check in because the late collections have continued. From this week I'll be issuing an invoice for any collection after [time] at the agreed rate of [amount] per 15 minutes. I'm not doing this to be difficult — it's in the contract and I need to apply it consistently.
What not to say
"It's fine, don't worry about it." (when it isn't fine)
Trains them that it's acceptable. You lose the right to charge later if you've waved it away repeatedly.
"I know you're really busy…"
You're creating an excuse for them before they've even given one.
When they push back
"It's only been a few minutes."
"I understand it feels small — but it's consistent, and I do have a contracted finish time. The fee applies after [time] regardless of how long over it is, because it's about the principle as much as the minutes."
"My boss kept me late — it's not my fault."
"I do understand that happens, and I'm sympathetic when it's occasional. When it's regular, I need to apply the contract. If your finish time is variable, it might be worth looking at whether we need to adjust your contracted end time."
Conversation 03
Terminating a Contract
This is the one childminders lose the most sleep over. The instinct is to soften it with vague language — "it's not really working out", "I need to reassess my numbers" — but vagueness makes it worse. A clear message is kinder than a confused one. Say it plainly, confirm it in writing the same day, and don't apologise beyond once. You're allowed to end a professional arrangement that isn't working.
Script — you giving notice
I need to talk with you about something I've given a lot of thought to. I've decided that our current arrangement isn't working well for either of us, and I'm giving you formal notice as per our contract — [X weeks], which brings us to [end date]. I want to handle this professionally. I'll send you a written letter today confirming the end date, and I'll do everything I can to make the handover as smooth as possible for [child's name].
Script — parent giving notice
Thank you for letting me know. Our contract requires [X weeks'] written notice, so I'll need that confirmed in a message or letter — just so we both have a clear end date. Based on today, that would be [date]. Fees continue as normal during the notice period. I'll send you a written confirmation from my end too.
What not to say
"I need to reassess my numbers / capacity." (when the real reason is something else)
You don't owe a full explanation, but a vague business reason when the real issue is personal creates distrust. Keep it brief and honest rather than elaborate and evasive.
"I'm so sorry, this is terrible timing, I feel awful…" (more than once)
Acknowledge it once if it genuinely is bad timing. Repeated apologising reopens the negotiation.
"Maybe we can revisit this in a few months."
Don't offer a door you don't intend to open. False hope makes the ending harder.
When they push back
"Can you tell me why? What have we done wrong?"
"This isn't about anything you've done wrong — I've made a professional decision about my setting, and I'm not able to go into more detail than that. I know that's frustrating and I'm sorry I can't say more."
"Can you just give us until the end of term?"
"My notice period is [X weeks] as per our contract, and the end date is [date]. I can't extend beyond that, but I'll do everything I can to help make the transition smooth."
Conversation 04
Raising a Developmental Concern
This is the conversation most childminders feel least trained for — and it's the most important one to get right. The key is to position yourself as being on the family's side, not as someone diagnosing a problem or flagging a failure. You've noticed something. You care enough to say something. That's the frame. Don't speculate about causes. Don't use clinical labels. Stick to what you've observed, and what you'd like to do together.
The script
I wanted to find a time to talk because I've noticed a few things with [child's name] recently that I think are worth us discussing — nothing urgent, but I didn't want to leave it any longer. I've been observing [specific, concrete examples — e.g. "that he finds it really hard to join group activities without becoming distressed" or "that her speech seems to be developing differently to other children her age"]. I'm sharing this because I care about how he's getting on, and I think it's useful information for you to have. Have you noticed anything similar at home?
What comes next — depend on their response
They're surprised / upset
"I can understand this is a lot to hear. I want to be clear — I'm not saying something is wrong, I'm saying I've noticed something and I think it's worth looking into together. There's no pressure today. I wanted you to know what I'm seeing."
They say "we've noticed that too"
"I'm glad I said something then. It might be worth speaking to your health visitor or GP — not because anything is definitely wrong, but because getting a professional view early is always useful. I can share my observations in writing if that would help."
They're dismissive: "All kids are different / he's fine at home"
"He absolutely might be fine — and children often behave very differently in different settings. I just want to make sure you have the full picture of what I'm seeing here, and I've noted it in his learning journal. Let's keep an eye on it together."
What not to say
"I think [child's name] might have autism / ADHD / a language delay."
You're not qualified to diagnose and these words carry enormous weight. Describe observed behaviours only.
"I'm sure it's nothing…" (immediately after raising the concern)
Undermines your own observation. You raised it because it's something. Own that.
Raising this for the first time at the end of the day when they're collecting
Book time for this — even 10 minutes with no distractions. A rushed doorstep mention causes panic with no space to process it.
Your safeguarding duty
Important: If your concern is about a child's welfare rather than development, your safeguarding policy takes over — not this script. Contact your local authority LADO or MASH if you have welfare concerns. Document everything. Do not discuss with the parent first if you suspect abuse.

Related resources in your account

📄 Fee Review Letter Generator — produce a ready-to-send letter in 30 seconds 📜 Childminder Contract Template — with autofill tool ✉️ Parent Communication Templates — written records after difficult conversations 🧩 Developmental Concerns Signposting — official pathways after the conversation